Sarcastic Quotes

It's hard to make predictions, especially about the future."

Life is hard. Its even harder if youre stupid."

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

"Lies circle the earth while Truth is still trying to put on its shoes."

I wanna be different just like everyone else

Always borrow money from a pessimist; they don't expect to be paid back

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research

A day without sunshine is like night.

Don't give other people a piece of your mind unless you can afford it.

Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

If you hear an onion ring, answer it.

Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be?

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change

A metaphor is like a simile.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme.

Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by
dressing exactly alike.

Good friends will help you move. REALLY good friends will help you move
bodies."